::milestones::

Some kids pick flowers for their moms. Mine picks up stones. 

Whether we are taking a walk around the block or exploring a nature trail, our pockets come home a little heavier with rocks and stones J hand selects for us.

Some C and I drop and leave outside. (How many concrete bits do we really need?)

But others we save. 

Both C and I have held on to some of these stones. We cherish them for what they symbolize:

:: our little nature lover

:: hand-picked gifts for mama and daddy

:: his idea of what is beautiful

I'm reminded of these stones as J cheerfully greeted another milestone today.

As I stood outside his classroom door today, my jaw dropped as he bustled in, said hello to his teacher, and hung his backpack up. When he wandered past the door again, I leaped in and asked for a goodbye kiss. 

I asked for the kiss that last year he would never let me leave without.

~~~

Thanks again to Stephanie of Adventures in Babywearing for sharing this idea for back-to-school pictures.

Car Seat Quandary

Cultivating Confidence

Confidence isn't a trait I've thought much about in relation to my three-year-old. I imagined that would come into play more when he starts school or joins a sports team. But, then I saw this article on PBS Parents and something clicked. Without fully realizing it, I've been noticing some changes in J lately that basically boil down to confidence. (Read the article here.)

If you follow me on Twitter, you've seen the updates about what a boisterous, energetic and happy guy we have. He's articulate, very social, and wakes up most days asking where we are going to go.

Seeking a way to release some of this energy, I signed him up for a trial class at The Little Gym. He's always running, jumping, climbing, bouncing and dancing all over the house and the furniture, so I knew this was right up his alley. Surprisingly, though, he cried and clung to me for the first half of the class. It's the preschool class, so parents were supposed to sit outside and watch through the glass wall. I wasn't granted that luxury though, and spent 30 minutes on the floor of the gym with him clutching and clawing at my neck every time a teacher approached him and asked if he was ready to join in.

At about the halfway point, he shut off the waterworks just like that and said he was ready to do some climbing and jumping. I walked him over and, sure enough, he was more than ready to let loose! He ran and tumbled and danced his face red over the next half hour.

This is where that article comes in. One of the pointers is: Let Your Kids Grow in Their Own Time. The author goes on to say that nothing hurts confidence more than being pushed to do something you're not ready to do.

So, I guess I did a good thing by letting J sit with me, observe, and then make his own decision on when and if to join in. I didn't push him, but I didn't pack him up and leave either; I left the choices to him.

With that experience, I think both of us got a little boost to our self-confidence! He's been talking about gym class a lot and says he wants to go back. I had the encouragement of seeing one of my parental decisions being very successful. Which will give me the confidence to follow another piece of the article's advice: Trust Your Own Intuition.

I'll leave you with a little song from The Sound of Music that popped into my head as I was writing this:

I have confidence in sunshine,

I have confidence in rain.

I have confidence that Spring will come again;

Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me!

they say patience is a virtue

I've been thinking about patience lately. Diary of a New Mom had a great post last week about patience. While reading it, I realized that we parents make patience into a pretty big deal with our kids. We strongly encourage it. We talk to them about sharing and waiting their turn.

But, then the "RIGHT NOW" mindset of young kids sometimes gets us frazzled and we snap, "Would you just be patient and wait a minute?!!"

What a model of patience. And, of course, it's not all the time. There are many times, numerous times every hour, that I am very patient. But, maybe when they say that patience is a virtue, they mean that your patience shouldn't come and go. It should be constant, and in that, lies the virtue. There's an aspiring challenge, right?

Tonight we were running errands as a family and J was cranky at being dragged across the city with the setting sun shining into his eyes. I'll sum it up by saying there was whining involved, a few tears, a high speed chase through a furniture store, and then the paramount patience-tester:

Why? Why Mama? Why Daddy? Why?

Oh, the whys! Not the whys! Or, if the whys, then why not just one why? Why a series of whys with no end in sight? Why do whys build on each other the way a mouse's requests do if you give a mouse a cookie?

So, during the stressed out drive home, C asks me if it's our patience we need to work on or if this is all just normal. He sheepishly asked if it's terrible to use an exasperated tone with a two year-old. Yikes! I don't know!! It can't be, can it? It would be unrealistic to think otherwise, wouldn't it? I mean, sure we shouldn't expect a mountain of patience out of the little guy. But, does that mean that the burden falls completely on us, or is this one of those gray areas... a phase that we have to endure for the time being (as best and as patiently as we can)?

I read somewhere recently that the phrase "multi-tasking" was only just born in the last 10-15 years. It seems that concept, just that word, is sabotaging people's patience levels. We don't have the patience to work on one thing at a time. And, when you stop and think about it, isn't it during those multi-tasking times that you become such an easy target to crack? One too many whys and you flip. (Check out this NPR story that says you just might not be as good a multi-tasker as you think you are.)

So, not only is it my goal to work on my patience level, but to also unmulti-task as much as I can, especially when I'm playing with or caring for J. Having my mind and attention cluttered with one less thing might just give me the energy and insight to deal with one more round of whys. And that's something I'm not even going to question!

{photo credit}

Read Your Way Through...Picky Eating

Boo Boo by Oliver Dunrea

A small curious gosling loves to eat...almost anything. Boo Boo sets a good example to youngsters as he's willing to try new things.

Crunch Munch by Jonathan London; illustrated by Michael Rex

With crunches and munches, slops and slurps, kids will love participating in this story that rhythmically shows how various animals eat. Parents will appreciate that it ends with the question, "How do you eat?", giving an opportunity to sneak in a reminder or a little discussion about food and nutrition!

Little Pea by Amy Krouse Rosenthal; illustrated by Jen Corace

Are meals and eating habits stressing you out? This delightful book brings some much-needed humor to the topic. Poor Little Pea must finish a plateful of candy before his favorite dessert -- fresh veggies!

To Market, to Market by Anne Miranda; illustrated by Janet Stevens

This book is useful for introducing new vocabulary to young kids: a "Spring lamb", a "live trout", okra, etc. It's got a catchy rhyme that takes off from the nursery rhyme "to market, to market, to buy a fat pig; home again, home again, jiggity-jig". The humor and outlandish illustrations of this one make for a very fun read.

"Eat!" Cried Little Pig by Jonathan London; illustrated by Delphine Durand

"Eat" is the first word Little Pig learns, and appropriately so, because he loves nothing more than eating! From the mishing and mashing, the slopping and slurping, to the huge mess he makes of himself, kids and parents will enjoy the rhyming and raucous example of mealtime in this book.

~~~~~

So, there it is. Happy Reading and Happy Eating! Please feel free to share some of your favorites on this favorite topic of mine! ;)

It's a ... Giveaway!!!

I hope you're as excited as I am! It's my first bloggy giveaway, and a pretty fab one for moms, dads, and parents-to-be in the Central Ohio area.

With big thanks to founder Kendra, I have a pair of tickets to give away to the 2009 Baby Bonanza! The EXPO will be held at the Aladdin Shrine Center on Saturday, March 14, 2009 from 10a-4p.

Baby Bonanza is geared toward families with children aged 0-6 and promises "everything from pregnancy to preschool". It offers exhibitors, educational seminars, entertainment, unique baby and toddler products, door prizes, even diaper derby baby races! Check out the full line-up at babybonanza.net.

So, for the giveaway: check out the Baby Bonanza web site and then post a comment here sharing what exhibitor, seminar, or activity you'd most like to attend. Be sure to leave your email address within the comment should you be the lucky winner!

Also, for a bonus entry into the giveaway, tweet about it with a link to either my blog or this post. Then stop back here to leave an additional comment letting me know you tweeted!

Have fun, and thanks for playing!

GIVEAWAY WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN FRIDAY, MARCH 6, 2009!

Battle Ready

We've officially had a 2 year-old on our hands for a little over a month, and let me tell you, it was as if a switch went off on his 2nd birthday and J became an independent, bossy, disagreeable toddler! No, of course all his sweetness isn't lost, but some days he's just a whirlwind of orneriness and combativeness. As the picture indicates, I think he's donned his battle armor and is prepared to duke it out with Mama & Daddy.

So, likewise, we've been forced to create our own little arsenal, stepping up a notch from the stern looks, threats, and soft-spoken mini-lectures. I've recruited family, friends, the pediatrician, books and web sites to help me figure out the best course of action.

Babycenter recently (and coincidentally) emailed me the discipline tool kit for toddlers, which suggests distraction, substitution, offering choices, reducing the amount of times you say "No", and trying to respect the situations in which your toddler says "No". (Yeah, that last one is interesting, huh...)

Among the many parenting, childhood development and discipline books out there, I have found one to be remarkably eye-opening, exciting and helpful. Beyond Time Out: From Chaos to Calm by Beth Grosshans. I wouldn't say that our home has become complete chaos, but the book was featured in PW and I decided it wouldn't hurt to look at it since time-outs haven't been especially working for us. I don't completely buy in to the author's way of thinking (WARNING: she does somewhat knock attachment parenting, co-sleeping and Pleaser parents who tend to talk things out w/their kids all the time), but the book has definitely armed me with some effective parenting tools and taught me a lot about the insticts, motives, and needs of young children. In fact, once I finish the book I could see myself writing an entire post just on the things I have come away with.

Aside from these pointers, I'm just trying to ratchet up the patience! What's working for you?

Creative Living

Tonight I dipped into my new stash of library books and read Amanda Blake Soule's book The Creative Family. Soule writes a blog that I've been following, which is how I discovered her book. She is absolutely inspiring. Incredibly creative, mindful, reflective and insightful, inventive, and real. I read straight through the entire book furiously jotting down quotes, reflections, projects, resources, and came straight here to blog about it. Each section of the book opens with a motivating or inspiring quote. Here are a few that really spoke to me:

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere."

- Albert Einstein

"The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things."

- Plato

"Every child is an artist. The problems is how to remain an artist once we grow up."

- Pablo Picasso

Soule, herself, is author to some very inspiring words as well. Reading The Creative Family, I felt I was reading part art book, part parenting book, part "green living" book, and part meditation book. Here are some of her gems:

"A large part of nurturing a spirit of creativity comes from being mindful, slowing down, observings, and looking around you at the beauty and inspiration all around. We are blessed as parents to have the best teachers for this - our children." (p. 5)

"Think about letting your child be the guide, director, and teacher, while you try to be the student. Your role is to provide the environment and to watch and learn." (p. 13)

"Practice gratitude - when we feel grateful, we feel full - full of love, full of inspiration, full of ideas, and full of creative spirit." (p. 15)

"Living the creative life is made all the more fulfilling and rewarding when we are creating with, for, or because of others." (p. 191)

Beautiful, no? I am really looking forward to attempting some of her projects and ideas with J this winter. I think they will be excellent learning opportunities as well as creative experiences. And many of the finished products would make excellent gifts.

Library Jackpot

I had to work today and while there I finally picked up the huge stack of reserves that have been patiently waiting for me all week. I am excited to take a look at all of them. There's lots of non-fiction in this to-read stack, and a couple of teen books, including the Printz Award candidate, Paper Towns by John Green.

The complete list of what I picked up today:

The Woman Who Can't Forget - Jill Price

Beyond Time Out: From Chaos to Calm - Beth Grosshans

The 10-Day Glycemic Diet - Azmina Govindji

Reading Magic - Mem Fox

The Creative Family - Amanda Blake Soule

Let it Snow: Three Holiday Romances - John Green, Maureen Johnson, Lauren Myracle

Paper Towns - John Green

Creative Play for Your Toddler: Steiner Waldorf Expertise and Toy Projects for 2-4s - Christopher Clouder

My Stroke of Insight - Jill Bolte Taylor

Apples for Jam: A Colorful Cookbook - Tessa Kiros

Stay tuned to my Goodreads account for my reviews on these. (Assuming I get to all of them, which I highly and unfortunately doubt.)

Motrin vs. Babywearing

Today, some of my fellow Twitter Moms alerted me to a new Motrin ad that targets babywearing mothers and the supposed pain they suffer. It's a pretty shocking ad, and very disappointing to see a company attempt to sell products by denouncing babywearing as a pain-inducing fad.

Mothers (and fathers and caregivers) across the globe have been wearing their babies for CENTURIES. And (Motrin, this is addressed to you) slings and carriers positioned correctly will evenly distribute baby's weight and put less strain on a mother's back than carrying a baby in her arms. All the literature out there on babywearing warns that if you feel pain or discomfort you have the sling positioned incorrectly.

When J was an infant, my husband and I both used sling carriers with him. In the sling, J seemed more of a participant in whatever we were doing than while riding in a stroller. The hands-free functionality of slinging was also a great benefit. Going for a walk or making a trip to the store, I had less to lug in and out; I had two free hands; and I was still snuggling my baby!

Luckily for me, my good friend Margaret was experienced with slings and babywearing, so she was able to help me choose comfortable slings and positions. Dr. Sears' books and web site were also very helpful resources to me while I got the hang of it. Here are a couple facts from Dr. Sears's web site about the importance and benefits of babywearing:

• Sling babies spend more time in the state of quiet alertness . This is the behavioral state in which an infant is most content and best able to interact with his environment.
• Sling babies are intimately involved in the caregiver's world. Baby sees what mother or father sees, hears what they hear, and in some ways feels what they feel.
• Carried babies are intimately involved in their parents' world because they participate in what mother and father are doing. A baby worn while a parent washes dishes, for example, hears, smells, sees, and experiences in depth the adult world. He is more exposed to and involved in what is going on around him.
• Carried babies become more aware of their parents' faces, walking rhythms, and scents. Baby becomes aware of, and learns from, all the subtle facial expressions, body language, voice inflections and tones, breathing patterns, and emotions of the caregiver.
• A parent will relate to the baby a lot more often, because baby is sitting right under her nose. Proximity increases interaction, and baby can constantly be learning how to be human.